It was hard. I felt like I was giving a piece of myself, that was very personal, away. As I was altering the object, it became harder to do it because I knew I was just going to be giving it away. It's almost like I miss the object, though it wasn't mine for that long, nor was even given to me by my Grandmother.
When she died, I was young (6 or 7) and was overcome by the shock seeing her in her casket. (open casket funeral) I never felt the LOSS. When I found my object, my feelings of missing her and wanting that little house in New York came back to me. I missed her. I never got to talk to her as an adult and I suddenly found myself wondering what she would think of my choices as an adult or what our relationship would be like...When I gave my little deer, covered in flowers..I felt...relieved..for some reason? Maybe it's knowing that i'm passing on my stories to a person who can appreciate them? Maybe it's a removal of a few layers of the feeling of loss that were recovered when I originally found my object. By giving away an object that unearthed so much in me...I guess i'm happy. If I had it at home, I might look at it all day and feel sad.
It's a sort of feeling that my object now has more value, because someone who did not have that exact experience will someday rediscover that object and think of the project we did and the different memories we shared that we would have otherwise possibly never shared with anyone else in our lifetime. It makes it more endearing to know that someone else is keeping my "memory" safe.
I began to like the object more and reconnected with it after altering the piece, so it become relatively difficult. I wanted to keep it and protect it. I kept thinking "what is going to happen to it after I give it away? Is this new person going to take car of it? What if she just throws it away? What if she doesn't care?" All of those questions whirled around in my mind.
It crushed me. I didn't want to give him up but I knew that he would find a new and better home.
ReplyDeleteIt was hard. I felt like I was giving a piece of myself, that was very personal, away. As I was altering the object, it became harder to do it because I knew I was just going to be giving it away. It's almost like I miss the object, though it wasn't mine for that long, nor was even given to me by my Grandmother.
ReplyDeleteWhen she died, I was young (6 or 7) and was overcome by the shock seeing her in her casket. (open casket funeral) I never felt the LOSS. When I found my object, my feelings of missing her and wanting that little house in New York came back to me. I missed her. I never got to talk to her as an adult and I suddenly found myself wondering what she would think of my choices as an adult or what our relationship would be like...When I gave my little deer, covered in flowers..I felt...relieved..for some reason? Maybe it's knowing that i'm passing on my stories to a person who can appreciate them? Maybe it's a removal of a few layers of the feeling of loss that were recovered when I originally found my object. By giving away an object that unearthed so much in me...I guess i'm happy. If I had it at home, I might look at it all day and feel sad.
ReplyDeleteIt's a sort of feeling that my object now has more value, because someone who did not have that exact experience will someday rediscover that object and think of the project we did and the different memories we shared that we would have otherwise possibly never shared with anyone else in our lifetime. It makes it more endearing to know that someone else is keeping my "memory" safe.
ReplyDeleteI began to like the object more and reconnected with it after altering the piece, so it become relatively difficult. I wanted to keep it and protect it. I kept thinking "what is going to happen to it after I give it away? Is this new person going to take car of it? What if she just throws it away? What if she doesn't care?" All of those questions whirled around in my mind.
ReplyDelete